For those of us who are somewhat older, there was a show called ” This is Your Life” that many of us enjoyed immensely. Today and every day you are playing this is your life! There are no do-overs or if I could only go back stuff. At the time you made a decision that became a sentence in your life. Through the years we have all made countless decisions and have regretted many. Here is a short story that will help illustrate.
Many years ago my father died and my older brother and I had not spoken in years ( for who knows what reason?) so I was advised by Pastor if he should show up at the funeral home I should try and make peace with him. Well, he did show up and I approached him. I reached out and shook his hand and ask him if we could just put the past behind us? His response ” It is what it is”. Of course part of the rest of that story is he wanted to talk to me when I was several hundred miles away back home. Of course, that didn’t happen.
So folks after something happens in your life is truly a life story built one sentence at a time.
As the night goes on a fiddler piercing sound brings a smile to your heart and inner laughter that only you can understand.
However, in life, there are untold millions who play different kinds of fiddle. This fiddler lives with an agonizing sense of not being good enough. For me that has been my life since the day I was born with my grandmother made it widely known that my older brother was the only grandchild she wanted. Being number two of what would become 17 grandchildren that would be reinforced time and time again. Through all of this, my father was in law enforcement, and of course, the general public’s needs would come first. That is not a knock against my father. In what became a common thread in our household my mother and father would have “discussions” he would always say ” what about Mike”? My mother’s response was ” he will be ok”. Frankly, she was wrong and still is to this very day.
Then many years later I met the love of my life and she was ( as still is) an RN and of course, patients come first and that will never change.
What you develop is a sense that you are not good enough every time some puts other things before you it is just another bold sign that you are not good enough and your feelings do not matter. At this point in my life that will never change and like millions of others you just try and survive being told you will always play second fiddle and that is what truly breaks your heart!