For those of you that claim you are not hiding something in your life, you are only fooling yourself! We all have something that we don’t what the world to know. Even in long-time marriages. I just love those couples who claim they share everything between them! After you get off that bottle of your favorite bottle of acholic beverage come back to the real world. The thing is do we want anyone to know exactly what we are thinking all the time? I suspect not. I know I don’t! The thing is sometimes we fool ourselves by thinking that with over 7 billion people on this earth that we are the only ones having these exact thoughts. We are not and that should be a comforting thought. So we all will continue to hide things and that will never change.
While observing a unique woman yesterday as she stepped out of her car she looked so beat up. I suspect this woman puts on many hats each day. She could be a mother, wife, sibling, business owner, etc. I suspect she has times when she loves many of them. Yet she could be wearing so many hats that the most important one she often forgets.
The most important one is her taking care of herself. You see if she doesn’t do that then those other things don’t matter. So the question then becomes how can we help her? Those closest to her need to take a hard look at how she is spending her day? How much of it is spent wearing the hats she loves versus those things that others can help her with and by doing that giving her time to breathe. She has to feel comfortable knowing it’s ok to take time for her. So what happens if you don’t help her along her journey?
One day her loved ones will be standing by her bedside while she fights for her life. Maybe if others along the way would have helped her out she may have had more strength and will to continue the fight?
Having been there by that bedside all alone it’s a road you don’t want to travel!
As a husband we have many responsibilities but there is one that is number 1 and there is no dispute about that.
Your first priority is to make sure your spouse feels safe that can take many forms but her physical safety comes first. This is the woman that you spend your life with and in many times has fathered your children. So why wouldn’t want her to feel safe physically? If she doesn’t feel that then it’s your responsibility to make sure she does. If she does not then she has no chance of becoming the God-fearing woman who touches so many each day. After all, isn’t that what you want her to become anyway? She also has to feel safe enough that she knows she can come to you about anything without fear on any subject.
In my own marriage that now spans over 24 years, I started the practice way back then if she gives that ” we need to look talk ” I simply stop what I am doing. Now that doesn’t mean at times you wonder why something was so important. The key thing is for her it is and that’s all that matters!
So men when was the last time that you asked your spouse if she felt safe? I suspect not often.
Now ladies my position on this issue doesn’t give you the right to blast away at your husband over anything. You have a responsibility to in your relationship to your to be respectful of him also.
Through the years on too many times to count the number of people who have offered to help is false words. If someone truly wants to help someone they will or the excuses will come. It’s a matter of priorities in their lives. It also leads to major trust issues. It would be better and more honest if people would just come clean and say they won’t help. It also leads people who truly need help to stop asking because of these false words!
As we age we have a habit of looking back at our lives and wonder ” if only”. If only I would have done such and such? Or if only I would have been more understanding things could have been different? You have no way of knowing that for a fact! Maybe if you could go back and change things the way you feel they should have been handle then things would have been different? Oh really?
A good example is this one. Almost 25 years ago someone answered an ad to a Christian singles paper and that led him to the love of his life. What if only he had not answered that ad and continued his life?
We can all beat ourselves to death with this ” if only ” game but all that does get you emotionally worn out.
Churches are supposed to be a place that all areas of the Bible get discussed. In the vast majority of cases that is true. The one that gets avoided like the plague is sex. Which is sort of ironic because that is the way most people come into the world. Let me be perfectly clear here. I am not condoning in any way the mistreatment of any male or female. Sure money gets talked about openly but sex that’s another matter. In a culture in which sex is everywhere ( I am not saying that is right.) Then the question becomes. Why?
My suspicion is that there is a certain puritanical aspect to it but the real reason is that children are around and the church has to be a safe place for them to be at all times. Throughout history, children have been abused in churches, to say the least. To act like it only happens in certain faiths is irresponsible thinking.
So sex is not openly talked about in churches and that’s the way it should stay!